THE AFTERMATH

Well boys.. What a night.

The Colossi successfully completed their 24 hour marathon in epic fashion.
I can now say I officially hate Halo with a fiery passion.. temporarily.
I'm sure the sweet satisfaction of sniping faces will once again draw me back into its spidery web.. Someday. Someday being the key word.

Look for tons of videos of the event soon.

We would especially like to thank all our fans for tuning in and participating.
In particular, MLG Zero, who actually played the entire marathon with us.
Straight through mind you, with only two brief 15 minute or so eating breaks.
We honor your honor.

We stand proud in the wake of our accomplishment.
Exhausted, yet proud.


We desecrated many bodies that night, unveiled our beautiful faces, and pillaged villages.
What more could you ask for?

Look for a special Colossi Call-In Show next time.


Give us a few days to recover, and then expect huge updates as always.


Thanks again.
Without all of our lovely fans, the Colossi could not conquer so easily.
OK thats a lie, but regardless we still love you all.


PREPARE TO BE SACRIFICED

BEHOLD, THE 24 HOUR HALO MARATHON

It is time ye brave Colossi fans.
We will be playing Halo from now until tomorrow at 3 PM.


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CHAT AND WATCH THE COLOSSI LIVE *
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Join us.
Spread the word.
Bring your friends.


Gamertags :

Doctor Umbrella
&
Righteous Ice



HALLELUJAH!

PREPARE TO BE SACRIFICED

Exclusive Metal Gear Solid 4 REVIEW as promised by DarkColossi

The Colossi deliver.

ATTENTION: Don't forget about tomorrow's festivities. Halo 3 marathon starting at 3pm est time until Thursday March 27th 3pm est time. We'll be recording several of the matches and of course be making epic videos of the whole thing. You don't want to miss out.

I'll probably edit this later on in the night to add more material, but I wanted you all to witness the video now.

NEW VIDEO PLUS MORE HYPE-BUILDING

Tonight the Colossi will be unveiling their exclusive Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots content.



We're just as excited to release as you are to watch it.

Also everything is set up for tomorrow's Halo 3 marathon. We will have a live webcam set up as well as a chat room, so you all can chat it up and talk about which Colossi looks the most amazing.

So tell your friends and your friend's friends because it will be 24 hours to remember forever.



Many of you might be asking yourselves, "I'm going to witness the Colossi, aren't they gods from outer space?" It is true, we are gods, orbiting this tiny planet called earth. However, we have decided to descend onto this planet for a little while and figured we'd run the best gaming website in the universe while we're at it. The only side effect being that we had to take on human form. So we found the two most handsome humans and inhabited their exquisite forms.

Enjoy the Colossi's hard work. Show us you love us by sending us wads of cash. Our bank only accepts money in wad form.

WEDNESDAY MARCH 26 HALO 3 MARATHON!

Another video??!? It's an Easter miracle!

This video is of yours truly, the Blue Colossus (aka Righteous Ice) deftly killing 10 of his opponents in under a minute. It is on Live and not rigged, it isn't my fault that for 3 of the kills (only 3) my opponents were just standing still. Read the comments and decide for yourself, the Colossi wouldn't lie to our faithful viewers.

In case you live in a cave on an asteroid beyond the Kuiper Belt, the Colossi are hosting a 24 hour Halo 3 marathon. That's right, we'll be playing Halo 3 for 24 hours straight. During which we plan on updating the blog every two to four hours to let you know how we're holding up. Plus we'll be doing other secret things that will please you later on...

Feel free to join in on the fun. Later on in the night we plan on hosting our own room and inviting all our friends, that includes you Colossites.

And...if we deem your play worthy you just might find yourself in a DarkColossi video. If not...expect us to desecrate your worthless corpse.

Don't forget that next week we will be unveiling our exclusive Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots content. We had to do some pretty shady things to get our hands on this. *shutters*

The Colossi are back and stronger and more dedicated than ever.

Enjoy!

Edit: Our gamertags in case you don't know are Righteous Ice and Doctor Umbrella.

And we posted this on Destructoid and got quite the response.

MAJOR GAMING ANNOUNCEMENTS!

That right there is what they call a "new video" in the business.
The business of being awesome that is.
In case you were wondering, it's of Assault Heroes 2.. the forthcoming XBox Live Arcade shooter.



Well anyways folks, guess what.
We have truly sealed the dang deal.

NEXT WEEK.. On a day of infamy; yet to announced..
We will indeed post our *EXCLUSIVE* Metal Gear Solid 4 Video; chock full of new information, features, and characters.

Seriously.

ANDDDDD!!
Don't you DARE forget to mark your calenders.

Next Wednesday (MARCH 26TH), starting at 3PM eastern time, the Colossi will be playing a live 24 hour Halo 3 marathon through Xbox Live.




..We will of course also be streaming a live webcam video of us destroying our competition for you to masturbate to.

Practice your sniping mortals.

24 HOUR COLOSSI HALO MARATHON

Starting Wednesday 3 or 4 est time pm the Colossi will begin playing Halo 3 and we won't stop until 3 or 4 pm Thursday. We plan on having a Live webcam set up the whole time so you can view your favorite gaming artists as we slice and dice our way through the competition.

We also have many videos in the works including: Halo walkthroughs, top plays, video reviews, and a special video that will go unannounced as of yet, but we plan on making it a weekly thing.

And this guy seems to like us and I like the cut of his jib, so check out his site, which the Colossi are featured on...and which the Colossi approve.

I am currently playing: Condemned 2: Bloodshot.



Prepare to be sacrificed mortals.

COLOSSAL MONTH OF COLOSSINESS

As Red mentioned we are planning on making April a big month.

So bear with us until then. We're not giving up on March, but the site might be lacking in updates for the next week or so.

Want to thank good ole Rodeo for his participation in last night's festivities. And we welcome you all to join us anytime on Live.

Would also like to thank everyone for foruming it up. Pay no attention to the spammers, they will be no more soon.

We plan on making several Halo videos, along with more, less talkable about videos that we have in the works.

And why not go and check out this video our own Forcefield made.

Looks quality.

N+

Have you downloaded N+?
If not, get on your Xbox right now.
Download, play.
It's amazing.

The Colossi have been completely sucked into its simple yet brilliant ninja mechanics; creating custom levels and racing about.

We will have a fully glorious video review up by the end of the week.

April is going to be a gigantic Colossi month...
Prepare for our huge push into the limelight.

Expect controversy, drama, and nudity.

Check back tonight/tomorrow morning.

PREPARE TO BE SACRIFICED!

YOUR TIME HAS COME.

The T-Shirt's are officially here.


*** CHECK IT OUT ***


That is all.
Order one.
Make your friends jealous.

Huge update coming soon...



THE DARK COLOSSI ARE APPROACHING..

STREET FIGHTER... IN REAL LIFE.

In case you have yet to witness this spectacular piece of fury;



Akuma. Hell yeh.
Some hardcore fanboy ish going on there.
The Colossi are pleased.

So I've been trapped in due to this ridiculous snow.
I should just melt it with my laser eyes, but that's a bit tiring.

Perfect weather to settle in with a huge-ass RPG.

I'm thinking of picking up some Grandia II for the Dreamcast.. Never beat it.

Oh Dreamcast.. Why were you so amazing?
Clearly the most underrated system in the history of videogames.
I could also put in some work on Shenmue II..

Decisions, decisions.




CAMMY...
PREPARE TO BE SACRIFICED.

HALO... IN REAL LIFE.

Greetings brave voyagers.
Today, the Colossi proudly present a new little featurette..


**** Halo.. In Real Life. ****


Simply a little collection of videos we have stumbled across.
Laser tag, Warthog, and Spartan Armor.
Ya know, stuff like that.

Well anywhoo, tonight should be a fun one.
Despite the intense snow outside, I simply must depart.

Tell us what ya think.
About anything really.
The sexiness of your grandmother for example.
That would be a very valid email subject.

Red@DarkColossi.com
or
Blue@DarkColossi.com


ITS FRIDAY DAMNIT!
GET OUT THERE AND SNATCH YOURSELF A WOMAN OR TWO!



(In case you were confused as to what they look like)

NEW VIDEO

Classic Blasto at its finest. A real PS1 diamond in the rough.

OPOONA AND MORE!

Comes out March 25. The art design looks unique, but gameplay seems a bit lackluster. You can play the whole game using just the nunchuk...but I don't care.



Yakuza 3, supposedly hits Japanese shelves tomorrow, though Singapore already has it.

And, here is this one guy's 50 greatest games of all time...



I disagree with most of it, especially Contra as the #1, but let's see what you think.

CO-CREATOR OF D&D DEAD

For his life story check out this handy wikipedia article.

Gygax, a level 25 Human Paladin was apparently ambushed by a roving band of orcs. He was able to take out four of them relatively unscathed. However, he subsequently rolled two critical failures, which left him unprotected and off balance. His enemy rolled a perfect 20 and Gygax suffered a fatal blow through the chest.

By the time his companions found him, the orcs were already licking his bones. Needless to say, they avenged his death with much verocity.




But in other Colossi related news...
You, our fans, will have the ability to actually BUY DARKCOLOSSI SHIRTS by the end of today, or perhaps the beginning of tomorrow.
And, we'll have some new videos up as well as some other goodies that we are excited to unleash upon you all.

By the by, check out the new features over to your right and pretty much just click everything you see, including all those well-placed ads.

MARIO, MEET MAGIC!

Don't even act like you didn't watch this.

Todays update features the equally enchanting and bizarre Mario TV show of time gone by. Anything Captain Lou is in, I'm in. Classic Nintendo, classic. Whoever approved this show is beyond genius.

Clearly "Mario" got drunk and made up the lyrics as he went. "Swing, your arms, from side to side..." Oh boy.



Fast forward to 2:51 for Magic Johnson's (yes he's in this..) acting at its finest.


Oh Mario. You and your shenanigans.
If only shows today were this ridiculous/entertaining/cheap.

BONUS: For our huge amount of Latina/Latino fans, (of which there are none) here is an episode in Spanish. A.k.a. Mexican. Or something.


AY MAMI!

HERES ANOTHER ONE FOR YA

In case you don't follow the DarkColossi as closely as we follow ourselves...

Here are a couple of links to posts we've made on Destructoid that have received less than favorable feedback, to say the least.
Go forth and gaze upon both the hatred and our entertaining responses of love.

The Club Video

Heath Ledger

Conflict: Denied Ops

The PSPDSGBA

Top 10 Controllers

We welcome their pithy comments and obvious ignorance.
We all know deep inside they treasure the Colossi.
And if they don't, they will be sacrificed.

I don't get as angry as Red does about the hierarchical system over at Destructoid, but I do find it ridiculous.

By the by...we've been playing N+ on XBLA a lot lately, and that game is amazing. We plan on having videos of our own awesomeness before too long.

Also...be on the lookout for a free giveaway by the Colossi in the near future. Such prizes include: a free DarkColossi yacht, plenty of women, a t-shirt, and a night with the Colossi. Or we could sacrifice a human baby to the gaming gods in your honor. Our choice.

APE ESCAPE VIDEO REVIEW!

And that's it for now.

Lot's more. Everyday.



And...don't know if you noticed or heard, but MLG/ESPN has blatantly taken the DarkColossi's Top Plays of the Day.

http://www.mlgpro.com/?q=node/194374

Prepare to be sacrificed ESPN.
We fear you not.